I'm Cheating a Little

So, I made this one myself. In case you can't read it it says, "I write letters to people and never send them. But sometimes I really wish they'd read them." I'll send this into PostSecret once I figure out how to put it on a postcard. So yeah, I've written letters that I haven't sent. I probably won't send them, either.

The first time I did this, it was the night I graduated from middle school. I was listening to that Vitamin C song "Graduation (Friends Forever)." It didn't make me cry. Then I put in my Avril Lavigne CD ("Under My Skin") and was listening to that. And that had been kind of my thing with my best friend: listening to that CD. That night, I realized that we were going to separate schools completely and would probably lose contact with each other (we have, actually). So that night, after I cried for about half an hour, I picked up a random notebook lying around and wrote a page and a half explaining how much she meant to me. I really miss her sometimes.

For a while, I didn't write any more letters. I mean, not ones I really meant as actual letters to people. (I wrote a goodbye-to-life note one day, but I don't know that I was one hundred percent serious about it.) Then I met this guy, we'll call him Smokey, and I kinda fell for him really hard. And then, in the true tradition of teenage life, he broke my heart. So I wrote him a few letters, that are still saved on my other computer. I honestly don't think I want him to read those letters, though, because he does not deserve the knowledge that would come with them.

Over Spring Break, I was staying overnight at Bubbles's dorm at college, and she was on her laptop, and her roommate was on her laptop, so I pulled out my laptop and opened a random word document. I didn't know what to type, so I write a little mini-poem at the top of the page. "Blank pages are no fun/So let us fill every one." After that, I answered some questions that I got out of a workbook that I bought at Borders. When I finished those, I decided that I would write a letter to my English teacher. It ended up being only a page typed, but it was really satisfying after I wrote it. I explained to him why knowing certain facts about him kind of disturbed me, and why I was doing so poorly in his class [I knew EXACTLY why...] And then I explained a few other things to him [things that I will explain in this blog at a later date.] Sometimes I wish I could send him this letter, to show him that we have something in common. Because sometimes, the thing we had in common is something I need a kindred to talk to about, someone who isn't as close to me as Bubbles is.

Those are my letters.

Peace Out, Y'all.