Can I get a translation?

Math is my downfall. Here are 10 reasons I don't need math:

1. I am going to be a famous writer one day. I'll be able to hire people to do the math for me.
2. I am going to be a guidance counselor one day. I need to practice the answer not being set in stone. Math answers are set in stone.
3. I am a musician; the only math I will ever need is the ability to count.
4. Most colleges only require two or three credits of math, but four English credits. That means that colleges care more about English than math.
5. Math cannot keep my attention. If it cannot in any way be made interesting (which, so far, it has not), then clearly it is not worth my time.
6. The ability to do math without assistance has become obsolete. I do not feel the need to concern myself with obsolete abilities. Machines have been invented to add/subtract/multiply/divide for me.
7. Math is not able to be applied to the real world. Teachers can only ever come up with a few examples of "real-world math" because only a few examples exist.
8. Math makes me want to pull my hair out. Clearly, that is not healthy, which means that math is not healthy, which means I don't need to do it.
9. No one needs a constant reminder that little mistakes have a huge impact. In math, even the itsy-bitsiest little error will throw the problem off.
10. I only like cool teachers. I have never met a cool math teacher. English teachers and band directors are the only cool people on the planet.

That, children, is my post for the night.

Oh, and one more thing. 2+2=Fish.