I couldn't sleep last night, which is why I graced you all with that lovely rendition of the story of my relationship. It's been a weird 24 hours.
I have a slight cut on my ankle from a shaving accident a couple weeks ago. Once I *finally* got to sleep last night, I slept for an hour before discovering that said cut had started to bleed. So after I applied a random T-shirt to said gushing wound, I fell back into a slightly unrestful sleep. I'm not gonna lie, I thought the uncontrollable sobbing would have tired me out enough to sleep. But then the thunderstorm came, and I found myself awake, and crying.
I made it through today without crying, or even getting choked up. I'm very proud of myself. I mean, it's not like I just went through a frickin' divorce or anything... but it still hurts. I didn't think it would happen so soon, or like this.... and I suppose I'm just expected to pretend I'm all right and talk to him like nothing's wrong. Or maybe he hurts as much as I do, but since he's a male he won't actually admit it. He still hasn't really acknowledged that the relationship is over, even though technically, although it was mutual, *he* broke it off.
All right. Well. At this point I'm just bein' an emo kid. So I'm just gonna leave it here.
Peace, love, and cake in a microwave.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sleepless
So, it's been over a month since I last posted. My apologies.
What's happened in that time?
I got my laptop back. And Tubaman and I broke up. And right now, I can't sleep, so instead I will tell the story of Tubaman and Bassoonage.
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Catnip, who went by Bassoonage when she was at school. Anyway, Bassoonage was given the honor of being in the pit orchestra for the school musical. This is when she met Tubaman, the tuba player from her concert ensemble who would later become the tuba player for the musical. Eventually, during tech week for the show, Tubaman and Bassoonage started "talking" in the sense that the beginnings of some kind of relationship were there, but Bassoonage didn't know what was going on because she was a silly, naive girl, as she has been for most of her life.
There was a complication at this early part of our story. You see, Tubaman was believed to be dating, or at least "talking," with one of the trombone players, who was soon kicked out of school for truancy. And so Bassoonage just wrote off any advances Tubaman made towards her as typically strange male behavior. Which was probably how this should have been interpreted, because all males are strange. However. Our story does continue henceforth.
Both Tubaman and Bassoonage live their lives accordingly. In the middle of December, "talking" commences between the two again, because they have both been forced to spend much time at school for the Christmas Fine Arts Festival. During this time, Tubaman asks for and receives Bassoonage's cell phone number. But nothing happens. Meanwhile, Bassoonage does not get her hopes up at all because any relationship between the two would never, ever work out for more than a week... or so she feared.
You see, there were many distinct differences between Bassoonage and Tubaman. Bassoonage was a painfully shy, awkward Senior who was going through her rebellious phase and trying to find herself while dealing with being the odd, creatively challenged, nerdy, slightly overweight and aesthetically-challenged, naive young thing she was. Bassoonage was as white as the cinderblock walls of the school, and as athletic as a one-year-old with a stomach ache. Tubaman, on the other hand, was a well-adjusted, outgoing Sophomore to whom social interaction came easily. Tubaman was experienced in the world, a popular young man who was a talented soccer player and lacrosse player hailing from Jamaica, and essentially the paragon of perfection to many, many young ladies in the school.
It came to pass that Tubaman and Bassoonage had a common half-hour of free time together on certain schedule days, and the two came to know each other better. Bassoonage, in her final year of high school, found that the Prom, the highlight of her entire high school career, was drawing nearer, yet she had no date. Thus she decided to ask her good friend Tubaman, whom she was increasingly becoming fond of. And thus it came to pass that the two would go to the prom together.
As the annual band trip also came upon our two young musicians, it was unknowingly agreed upon that Tubaman and Bassoonage would spend their time exclusively together on the trip. Somehow, the untrue word that the two were dating spread around the music ensembles, and by the end of the trip, the relationship was almost official. Almost.
The two continued to spend time together, and after a full day of enjoying each others' company during the semi-annual Honor Band festivities, Tubaman bestowed a kiss unto Bassoonage in the evening. All was blissful in both worlds, and both young people were very happy. Through more discussion the following day, a relationship between Tubaman and Bassoonage became official.
Enthralled with the new bond, there was nary a quarrel between the two. The Prom came around, and it was indeed a perfect evening for Tubaman and Bassoonage. The 18th Birthday of Bassoonage came around, and Tubaman was sure to show her a lovely time. Graduation came around, and as Bassoonage left behind her high school life, Tubaman was sure to prove how proud he was of his beloved Bassoonage.
Eventually, though, Tubaman and Bassoonage began to quarrel. Bassoonage knew that the relationship would soon end because she would be leaving soon for college, and Tubaman would be left behind to finish high school. Then, one night, some of Tubaman's friends took hold of his cell phone and replied to Bassoonage's text messages in a very unpleasant manner, calling her terrible names and telling her that Tubaman disliked her. Bassoonage felt very bad through this whole ordeal; she had been less than a proper lady when she had been with Tubaman during the day and had meant to apologize, but was instead met with this torture. Bassoonage admitted to the friends that she was indeed unfit to be in a relationship with Tubaman, and asked that the message please be passed on that Tubaman should call Bassoonage at his earliest convenience. The conversation was brief, because Tubaman had other affairs to attend to. Bassoonage, however, felt that the situation had properly been remedied, and returned to her daily routines.
Meanwhile, all Bassoonage truly wanted was to be held by her Tubaman, to hug him and kiss him and cuddle with him, because for some reason she really felt the need for such activities to occur. Bassoonage thought of nothing else during this time.
A few days after the quarrel with Tubaman's friends, however, Bassoonage mentioned something about their relationship to Tubaman, who replied that he thought that the relationship had ended on Bassoonage's word. Bassoonage was confused, but after further discussion it was decided that Bassoonage and Tubaman would no longer be together. Bassoonage did her best to remain strong, but it hurt her badly. She had not expected the relationship to end in such a manner, and she would never get one last chance to be with Tubaman before the relationship ended. Tubaman assured her that she would find someone else who should treat her better, but this was hard for Bassoonage to imagine, for Tubaman had treated her so well. Bassoonage replied by assuring Tubaman that he would always be able to find someone more worthy than she had been, but Tubaman would not hear of such a thing. The two decided to remain friendly, but in truth Bassoonage knew it would be a long time before any contact with Tubaman would not result in her lamenting tears.
The End.
R.I.P my relationship: April 5, 2009, until July 27, 2009. Begun and ended in a text message.
More to come when I've gotten this out of my system. There's your story.
Peace, love, and sleepless nights.
What's happened in that time?
I got my laptop back. And Tubaman and I broke up. And right now, I can't sleep, so instead I will tell the story of Tubaman and Bassoonage.
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Catnip, who went by Bassoonage when she was at school. Anyway, Bassoonage was given the honor of being in the pit orchestra for the school musical. This is when she met Tubaman, the tuba player from her concert ensemble who would later become the tuba player for the musical. Eventually, during tech week for the show, Tubaman and Bassoonage started "talking" in the sense that the beginnings of some kind of relationship were there, but Bassoonage didn't know what was going on because she was a silly, naive girl, as she has been for most of her life.
There was a complication at this early part of our story. You see, Tubaman was believed to be dating, or at least "talking," with one of the trombone players, who was soon kicked out of school for truancy. And so Bassoonage just wrote off any advances Tubaman made towards her as typically strange male behavior. Which was probably how this should have been interpreted, because all males are strange. However. Our story does continue henceforth.
Both Tubaman and Bassoonage live their lives accordingly. In the middle of December, "talking" commences between the two again, because they have both been forced to spend much time at school for the Christmas Fine Arts Festival. During this time, Tubaman asks for and receives Bassoonage's cell phone number. But nothing happens. Meanwhile, Bassoonage does not get her hopes up at all because any relationship between the two would never, ever work out for more than a week... or so she feared.
You see, there were many distinct differences between Bassoonage and Tubaman. Bassoonage was a painfully shy, awkward Senior who was going through her rebellious phase and trying to find herself while dealing with being the odd, creatively challenged, nerdy, slightly overweight and aesthetically-challenged, naive young thing she was. Bassoonage was as white as the cinderblock walls of the school, and as athletic as a one-year-old with a stomach ache. Tubaman, on the other hand, was a well-adjusted, outgoing Sophomore to whom social interaction came easily. Tubaman was experienced in the world, a popular young man who was a talented soccer player and lacrosse player hailing from Jamaica, and essentially the paragon of perfection to many, many young ladies in the school.
It came to pass that Tubaman and Bassoonage had a common half-hour of free time together on certain schedule days, and the two came to know each other better. Bassoonage, in her final year of high school, found that the Prom, the highlight of her entire high school career, was drawing nearer, yet she had no date. Thus she decided to ask her good friend Tubaman, whom she was increasingly becoming fond of. And thus it came to pass that the two would go to the prom together.
As the annual band trip also came upon our two young musicians, it was unknowingly agreed upon that Tubaman and Bassoonage would spend their time exclusively together on the trip. Somehow, the untrue word that the two were dating spread around the music ensembles, and by the end of the trip, the relationship was almost official. Almost.
The two continued to spend time together, and after a full day of enjoying each others' company during the semi-annual Honor Band festivities, Tubaman bestowed a kiss unto Bassoonage in the evening. All was blissful in both worlds, and both young people were very happy. Through more discussion the following day, a relationship between Tubaman and Bassoonage became official.
Enthralled with the new bond, there was nary a quarrel between the two. The Prom came around, and it was indeed a perfect evening for Tubaman and Bassoonage. The 18th Birthday of Bassoonage came around, and Tubaman was sure to show her a lovely time. Graduation came around, and as Bassoonage left behind her high school life, Tubaman was sure to prove how proud he was of his beloved Bassoonage.
Eventually, though, Tubaman and Bassoonage began to quarrel. Bassoonage knew that the relationship would soon end because she would be leaving soon for college, and Tubaman would be left behind to finish high school. Then, one night, some of Tubaman's friends took hold of his cell phone and replied to Bassoonage's text messages in a very unpleasant manner, calling her terrible names and telling her that Tubaman disliked her. Bassoonage felt very bad through this whole ordeal; she had been less than a proper lady when she had been with Tubaman during the day and had meant to apologize, but was instead met with this torture. Bassoonage admitted to the friends that she was indeed unfit to be in a relationship with Tubaman, and asked that the message please be passed on that Tubaman should call Bassoonage at his earliest convenience. The conversation was brief, because Tubaman had other affairs to attend to. Bassoonage, however, felt that the situation had properly been remedied, and returned to her daily routines.
Meanwhile, all Bassoonage truly wanted was to be held by her Tubaman, to hug him and kiss him and cuddle with him, because for some reason she really felt the need for such activities to occur. Bassoonage thought of nothing else during this time.
A few days after the quarrel with Tubaman's friends, however, Bassoonage mentioned something about their relationship to Tubaman, who replied that he thought that the relationship had ended on Bassoonage's word. Bassoonage was confused, but after further discussion it was decided that Bassoonage and Tubaman would no longer be together. Bassoonage did her best to remain strong, but it hurt her badly. She had not expected the relationship to end in such a manner, and she would never get one last chance to be with Tubaman before the relationship ended. Tubaman assured her that she would find someone else who should treat her better, but this was hard for Bassoonage to imagine, for Tubaman had treated her so well. Bassoonage replied by assuring Tubaman that he would always be able to find someone more worthy than she had been, but Tubaman would not hear of such a thing. The two decided to remain friendly, but in truth Bassoonage knew it would be a long time before any contact with Tubaman would not result in her lamenting tears.
The End.
R.I.P my relationship: April 5, 2009, until July 27, 2009. Begun and ended in a text message.
More to come when I've gotten this out of my system. There's your story.
Peace, love, and sleepless nights.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Lalalalala
Greetings, people!
According to Blogger, my last post was.... February 8. What is today? Today, my friends, is June 18. So what does this mean to you? Probably nothing. You probably barely noticed my absence. But for those of you who DID, and miss my life and its stories, let me give you a brief run-through of life since then. Please note that February and March are horrible blurs I never want to think about again.
February: Uh.... Valentine's Day? I curled up in a ball and slept. I don't mind V-Day though. I was just very tired most likely.
March: Uh... From the endish of February to the beginning of March, my mommy was in the hospital with a kidney infection. She's fine now. But I had to take her place taking care of the house while she was sick. March 3rd was her birthday. I made her a cake. That cake lasted until late April. No lie. (But the cake is a lie?) Later that month, blurring into April....
April: I started/continued talking to Tubaman, who may get his own post eventually. Then he asked me out (like, all official-like, which will get its own post) on April 5, 2009. Aprilaprilapril... Could not have finished fast enough. Like, really, when was May going to get there? Also, my laptop contracted Swine Flu and had to be sent to my friend's house to be analyzed for repairs.
May: Right off the bat, I turned 18. May 4, 2009. This will slightly complicate things with Tubaman, but that will be discussed the next time I post (if I remember). Still no word on the laptop. Prom with Tubaman. Dramallamallama. Finals. News that the hard drive in my laptop died, and that it will be $80 to get a new one. Gradjitation (May 23). I win. Laptop was said to have been available by that date. Two days later, I find out that laptop is indefinitely being held until the part comes in.
June: The part still isn't in. I really hate using the desktop (hence why I haven't blogged). I managed to rid the desktop of its viruses though. Go me. In other news, Tubaman and I are still together, but I'm not sure for how much longer. Also, Bubbles seems to have vanished. I mean, I'm sure if I hired a bloodhound like the cat does in the kitty litter commercial, I could find her. And I know she's still alive, because she sent me a chain text! All is not lost with my Bubbles! But I don't know why she hasn't responded to my IMs. I do hope she's okay. She's my best friend after all.
So what does the future hold for me as of now? This weekend, I'm going to Frostburg, MD, for Preview FSU, which is like a pre-orientation thingy. I really don't want to go, actually, but I have to. Oh well. I said the same thing about Senior Retreat in April/May and ended up having a good time.
Oh, and I have another post already generated in my head. (Not the Tubaman post, though.)
Peace, love, and Bobcats.
According to Blogger, my last post was.... February 8. What is today? Today, my friends, is June 18. So what does this mean to you? Probably nothing. You probably barely noticed my absence. But for those of you who DID, and miss my life and its stories, let me give you a brief run-through of life since then. Please note that February and March are horrible blurs I never want to think about again.
February: Uh.... Valentine's Day? I curled up in a ball and slept. I don't mind V-Day though. I was just very tired most likely.
March: Uh... From the endish of February to the beginning of March, my mommy was in the hospital with a kidney infection. She's fine now. But I had to take her place taking care of the house while she was sick. March 3rd was her birthday. I made her a cake. That cake lasted until late April. No lie. (But the cake is a lie?) Later that month, blurring into April....
April: I started/continued talking to Tubaman, who may get his own post eventually. Then he asked me out (like, all official-like, which will get its own post) on April 5, 2009. Aprilaprilapril... Could not have finished fast enough. Like, really, when was May going to get there? Also, my laptop contracted Swine Flu and had to be sent to my friend's house to be analyzed for repairs.
May: Right off the bat, I turned 18. May 4, 2009. This will slightly complicate things with Tubaman, but that will be discussed the next time I post (if I remember). Still no word on the laptop. Prom with Tubaman. Dramallamallama. Finals. News that the hard drive in my laptop died, and that it will be $80 to get a new one. Gradjitation (May 23). I win. Laptop was said to have been available by that date. Two days later, I find out that laptop is indefinitely being held until the part comes in.
June: The part still isn't in. I really hate using the desktop (hence why I haven't blogged). I managed to rid the desktop of its viruses though. Go me. In other news, Tubaman and I are still together, but I'm not sure for how much longer. Also, Bubbles seems to have vanished. I mean, I'm sure if I hired a bloodhound like the cat does in the kitty litter commercial, I could find her. And I know she's still alive, because she sent me a chain text! All is not lost with my Bubbles! But I don't know why she hasn't responded to my IMs. I do hope she's okay. She's my best friend after all.
So what does the future hold for me as of now? This weekend, I'm going to Frostburg, MD, for Preview FSU, which is like a pre-orientation thingy. I really don't want to go, actually, but I have to. Oh well. I said the same thing about Senior Retreat in April/May and ended up having a good time.
Oh, and I have another post already generated in my head. (Not the Tubaman post, though.)
Peace, love, and Bobcats.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
I recognize this song, but I have no idea what it is.
It's been a rough couple of days. To sum it all up, my "best friends" at school have accused me of lusting after one girl's boyfriend. I have no interest in him whatsoever. And they all turned on me. But I'm not going to let it get to me because I have bigger things to worry about. Like how I think this person I know may have a "thing" with the object of my affection. But I'm probably just being paranoid. Especially considering early in the week I could've sworn I was getting signs that he might be interested in me. That was probably just wishful thinking though. But who knows?
I'd like to apologize for my last post. Please disregard it.
I have little intention of doing a real post this week.
Peace, love, and STRING QUARTET TRIBUTE!
I'd like to apologize for my last post. Please disregard it.
I have little intention of doing a real post this week.
Peace, love, and STRING QUARTET TRIBUTE!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaah!
Fantasmic news!
I have a date on Sunday! We're going to see Mall Cop!
I am sooo excited!!!
But. On to a more serious topic. Tinkerbell was pregnant. And had a miscarriage. She's not very happy right now. So I am going to buy her a Frosty and a penguin.
I have a date on Sunday! We're going to see Mall Cop!
I am sooo excited!!!
But. On to a more serious topic. Tinkerbell was pregnant. And had a miscarriage. She's not very happy right now. So I am going to buy her a Frosty and a penguin.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
AbCdEfG......
Over the summer, I was in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar with a local teen theatre group. I was in the chorus, nothing major or anything. I went through the entire summer dancing and singing and whatnot (even though I don't really sing well and can barely walk on a flat surface without falling). In the blocking, after Pilate whips Jesus, the chorus members were supposed to run off stage from their various stations on the low platform.
It may help if I explain that the different levels were as follows: Stage, 2-foot platform, Left and Right 6-foot platforms, and 8-foot platform. Anyway. The low platform was only two feet off the ground. It's high enough that a fall would hurt a little, but not so high that any major damage would really be done. There were steps at the corner of this platform, and those are what we were supposed to run down. To also help give you an idea of the picture, each of the young ladies was wearing a skirt, pants, a shirt, and a vest, plus soft, flexible jazz dance shoes, which are a little slippery to walk in considering all the dust that's on the various pieces of stage.
Anyway. So we got through tech week and opening night without too much of a problem. The first Saturday performance, though, resulted in me running down the steps and.... losing my balance while running down. Like I said, I'm not a graceful person. I managed to fall out of most of the audience's view, and really only the people on stage facing me saw it happen. I caught myself -- all 183 or so pounds of myself at the time -- on both my hands and my right knee. It stung on my knee a bit, as any running collision from any height onto a solid wood stage would. It stung on my right hand, but that's because I caught most of my weight there first. So I hobbled backstage and our costume mistress/cast mommy/mother of our director gave me an ice pack for my knee, since it was slowly becoming more and more painful to use that leg. Anyway, fast forward to the next day. I am told to modify my dance movements if I think I am up for dancing. So that is what I do. My leg still hurts, but as long as I'm not paying attention to it it's fine.
Fast forward to the Wednesday afternoon performance. We did a meditation thing before the show, and Teapot went to help me up afterward. I stood up... but jostled my knee in such a way that it was quite painful. Later that evening, I went to the doctor to be told that... oh, you've just pulled something, blah blah, take this Motrin prescription and ace bandage, get yourself a knee brace, blah blah, RICE it. So I do that. And eventually it gets to the point that I can use it decently again.
Now, my knee acts up sometimes. One of those times is today. I did absolutely nothing to it (that I can remember) and now it hurts just like it did then. So I'll have to see how this one works.
Oh! In other news! My friend Lohn is trying to set me up with Ducky. That should be interesting. I have no idea why he is doing such, or even that he really is doing such (he could be joking, but who knows?). I just thought I'd update you on that.
Peace, love, and Jesus hippies.
It may help if I explain that the different levels were as follows: Stage, 2-foot platform, Left and Right 6-foot platforms, and 8-foot platform. Anyway. The low platform was only two feet off the ground. It's high enough that a fall would hurt a little, but not so high that any major damage would really be done. There were steps at the corner of this platform, and those are what we were supposed to run down. To also help give you an idea of the picture, each of the young ladies was wearing a skirt, pants, a shirt, and a vest, plus soft, flexible jazz dance shoes, which are a little slippery to walk in considering all the dust that's on the various pieces of stage.
Anyway. So we got through tech week and opening night without too much of a problem. The first Saturday performance, though, resulted in me running down the steps and.... losing my balance while running down. Like I said, I'm not a graceful person. I managed to fall out of most of the audience's view, and really only the people on stage facing me saw it happen. I caught myself -- all 183 or so pounds of myself at the time -- on both my hands and my right knee. It stung on my knee a bit, as any running collision from any height onto a solid wood stage would. It stung on my right hand, but that's because I caught most of my weight there first. So I hobbled backstage and our costume mistress/cast mommy/mother of our director gave me an ice pack for my knee, since it was slowly becoming more and more painful to use that leg. Anyway, fast forward to the next day. I am told to modify my dance movements if I think I am up for dancing. So that is what I do. My leg still hurts, but as long as I'm not paying attention to it it's fine.
Fast forward to the Wednesday afternoon performance. We did a meditation thing before the show, and Teapot went to help me up afterward. I stood up... but jostled my knee in such a way that it was quite painful. Later that evening, I went to the doctor to be told that... oh, you've just pulled something, blah blah, take this Motrin prescription and ace bandage, get yourself a knee brace, blah blah, RICE it. So I do that. And eventually it gets to the point that I can use it decently again.
Now, my knee acts up sometimes. One of those times is today. I did absolutely nothing to it (that I can remember) and now it hurts just like it did then. So I'll have to see how this one works.
Oh! In other news! My friend Lohn is trying to set me up with Ducky. That should be interesting. I have no idea why he is doing such, or even that he really is doing such (he could be joking, but who knows?). I just thought I'd update you on that.
Peace, love, and Jesus hippies.
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