Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to request a moment of silence for my social life. My social life died on Sunday, October 19, 2008, at approximately 7:00 p.m. of natural causes. Funeral services are to be held Saturday, October 25, 2008, starting at around 8:00 p.m. at Bishop McNamara high school.
My social life had a brief but well-lived life that started toward the end of August this year. It had a way of making me feel like I was normal. Survivors include my school life, my personal life, and my private life. Memorial donations may be made to Melanie's Social Fund in the form of making and keeping plans with Me.
In other news, my seasonal job has ended, which has made all of my weekends suddenly become available. Available for what? Mostly just sitting on my ass becoming even fatter. And sitting in front of Facebook, like the loser I am. And sitting around wishing that I was more than just a back-up friend for most people. You know, the person you keep around for when your plans fall through and you need someone to hang out with? Yeah, that's me. Maybe I should start charging people for my backup-friend services. I bet you I would make a fair amount of money off of that. Y'all might not like that, though, because then you'd have to pay to hang out with me.
Okay. Stupid post over. Go... hang out with your friends or something. But if they're not available, don't call me unless you have an extra $5 lying around.
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