Four times in one day. Four. Fucking. Times.

I'm weak. I know it. And I'm sorry.

I've gone deeper. But still not deep at all.

I'm afraid. Really, truly afraid.

Please don't judge me.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaah!

Fantasmic news!



I have a date on Sunday! We're going to see Mall Cop!


I am sooo excited!!!


But. On to a more serious topic. Tinkerbell was pregnant. And had a miscarriage. She's not very happy right now. So I am going to buy her a Frosty and a penguin.

AbCdEfG......

Over the summer, I was in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar with a local teen theatre group. I was in the chorus, nothing major or anything. I went through the entire summer dancing and singing and whatnot (even though I don't really sing well and can barely walk on a flat surface without falling). In the blocking, after Pilate whips Jesus, the chorus members were supposed to run off stage from their various stations on the low platform.

It may help if I explain that the different levels were as follows: Stage, 2-foot platform, Left and Right 6-foot platforms, and 8-foot platform. Anyway. The low platform was only two feet off the ground. It's high enough that a fall would hurt a little, but not so high that any major damage would really be done. There were steps at the corner of this platform, and those are what we were supposed to run down. To also help give you an idea of the picture, each of the young ladies was wearing a skirt, pants, a shirt, and a vest, plus soft, flexible jazz dance shoes, which are a little slippery to walk in considering all the dust that's on the various pieces of stage.

Anyway. So we got through tech week and opening night without too much of a problem. The first Saturday performance, though, resulted in me running down the steps and.... losing my balance while running down. Like I said, I'm not a graceful person. I managed to fall out of most of the audience's view, and really only the people on stage facing me saw it happen. I caught myself -- all 183 or so pounds of myself at the time -- on both my hands and my right knee. It stung on my knee a bit, as any running collision from any height onto a solid wood stage would. It stung on my right hand, but that's because I caught most of my weight there first. So I hobbled backstage and our costume mistress/cast mommy/mother of our director gave me an ice pack for my knee, since it was slowly becoming more and more painful to use that leg. Anyway, fast forward to the next day. I am told to modify my dance movements if I think I am up for dancing. So that is what I do. My leg still hurts, but as long as I'm not paying attention to it it's fine.

Fast forward to the Wednesday afternoon performance. We did a meditation thing before the show, and Teapot went to help me up afterward. I stood up... but jostled my knee in such a way that it was quite painful. Later that evening, I went to the doctor to be told that... oh, you've just pulled something, blah blah, take this Motrin prescription and ace bandage, get yourself a knee brace, blah blah, RICE it. So I do that. And eventually it gets to the point that I can use it decently again.

Now, my knee acts up sometimes. One of those times is today. I did absolutely nothing to it (that I can remember) and now it hurts just like it did then. So I'll have to see how this one works.


Oh! In other news! My friend Lohn is trying to set me up with Ducky. That should be interesting. I have no idea why he is doing such, or even that he really is doing such (he could be joking, but who knows?). I just thought I'd update you on that.


Peace, love, and Jesus hippies.

Tuba-juba-duba.

I tried to throw a fish at Bubbles today.


Yes, you read that right. Okay, fine, it wasn't a real fish. I mean, that wouldn't have worked anyway. We were talking on AIM, and I reminded her to write a blog entry since it has been one bajillion years and 31 minutes since she has done so. And we have had this fish joke forever. So I tried to IM her an emoticon fish.

Let me tell you about my expertise in emoticons. I can do the traditional :-) and :-( and <3.><. Fish. Except it did not turn out like that when I hit "send." It sent as <-)))><. That, ladies and gentlemen, is NOT a fishy. That is the jumble that comes out when you bang your head on the keyboard in frustration. So I spaced it out. I sent Bubbles a very LONG fish. It looks something like this:

< ) ) ) > <. Fish. Fishy fish fisharoo fishness fishdom. I am trying to make fish sound like it's not a word anymore. Fish fish fish fish fish.

In other news. I have been accepted to the college of my choice: Frostburg State University. Yay me. My letter came on December 26. I consider it my late Christmas present from the postal service.

In other-other news, I smell like fire. Or like smoke from a fire. I'd say I smell like smoke but for some reason my friends would associate that with cigarettes. I swear I don't do that! .... Why fire, you ask? Because I was at my friend Duck's house with my other friends Dave, the Spaniard, and the Spaniard's girlfriend Tinkerbell. And we started a fire (in a firepit! Don't worry, we didn't burn anything down). And I was sitting right next to it. It was really warm.

In otherness news, my boy from a zillion posts ago, the one who went to Homecoming with another girl? Is apparently dating someone now. And I am surprised at how little I actually care about that. I mean, it hurt that Tinkerbell felt the need to tell me that The Boy had written in his FB status that he loves some unnamed girl, but still. I don't care. There is a lot of not-caring going on with Catnip.


Okay, well, that's all. This post made no sense anyway.


Peace, love, and rainbow trout.

Econo-sized

So, the other day my mom was reading a newsletter from the.... what's it called, organization?.... that manages all the people who work in her field (the Cardiac Catheterization lab, that's where my mom works). And the branch for the lovely state of Henrietta-Marialand (yes, that's the REAL nomenclature for the state) has put out a statement that could put my mom's job in danger. See, there's this other license a person can hold that, in most states, is equivalent to the license my mom has (it's kinda like the relationship between a GED and a HS Diploma. But anyway.). In the state of Maryland, though, that first license is not recognized and therefore is meaningless. In other words, a person working in a hospital in the state of Maryland who has this license is, technically, not licensed and therefore doing something highly illegal. My mom does NOT have this license, she has one that is recognized pretty much everywhere. But one of her co-workers has the unrecognized license (which, btw, is recognized in the District and Virginia.). And the organization that oversees people in this field have said that any physician or tech [which is what my mom does] who is working in the Cath Lab with the "unlicensed" person can face fines and possibly lose their own license. My mother's hospital, which is supposedly the worst one to work for in this area, possibly the state, has said that they WILL NOT FIRE THIS WOMAN because one of the doctors likes having her around. They have said that they will pay any fines (which, once they are caught, is $10,000 per day until this woman is fired.). But they have no control over innocent doctors, nurses, and techs losing their licenses, and therefore are not held responsible for those. If my mother loses her license, she cannot get a job elsewhere. So currently, she is trying to find a job at another hospital. The problem there is that she picked this hospital in the first place because, while it sucks to work there, it pays REALLY well. Like, really, we are very fortunate. We haven't really felt the recession. There's a hospital that is closer to our house (it's in Annapolis) that has a job opening, but we don't know how much they're willing to pay her. We know that they will be willing to hire her, as they were willing to the last time she applied there. But money's an issue. I'm going off to college, most likely one where I will have to live on-campus (although I told my mom that I will, and I do mean will, go to community college if that's what we need me to do.) Currently, my sister and I are both enrolled in private school. I mean, I know that makes us seem like "spoiled rich kids" but we really aren't. We were still in private school when my mom was in X-ray school and we had utilities shut off EVERY WEEK and even had the car repossessed once (got it back, though.). My mom puts education first. I'm just afraid that utilities will be shut off again and it'll be like middle school (which sucked in that regard.). And now we might have to go back to that because MY MOTHER'S HOSPITAL IS RUN BY MORONS!!! Seriously, BOYCOTT SOUTHERN MARYLAND HOSPITAL CENTER!!!


I was reading my friend Highway's (also known as J) blog, and his mom is having issues finding work. Now, I understand, his situation sucks big time. His mom's trying to find an alternate situation so she can do her best for them. So Highway J may have to go live with his father. And, lemme tell ya, the fact that Highway J is willing to leave his mom? Is huge. And very strong of him. But I don't wanna sound like I'm making his problem smaller when I say that hey, at least he HAS a dad to go live with. My dad? Lives in a garage apartment and is technically a fugitive. If my mom loses her job, we don't have anywhere to go. I mean, I am NOT about to switch schools in the middle of my senior year, especially when I love my school a lot. Don't get me wrong, J would probably have to switch schools for HIS senior year... but it's not the middle of the year, see? And I really do feel for J's situation. His situation is because of that stupid recession. (Ours isn't, and I'm so thankful for that. I mean, in the holiday season, I have tipped extra and donated more because I knew others needed that money, and I do have extra and I am sooo appreciative of that.). But y'know, his situation, in a way, is better than mine (but also worse.).

Ah, well. Maybe Saint Obama will provide a Christmas miracle, huh?


Peace, love, and HOSPITAL BOYCOTTS!

College

So I only just remembered something about my old plans for college.


Originally I'd planned to major in Creative Writing and be a novelist/English teacher. Originally I'd planned to stay very close to home. The plan was that I would get an apartment with Bubbles and we'd both go to the same school.

But now that's changed. I'm sure you remember an earlier post where I mentioned that Bubbles is going to move to California and be a big famous actress one day. Well, that kinda puts a damper on our plans. Because she wants to move for next school year. And I will never see her again.

What I'm learning, though, is that it scares me less and less that she will be gone. I've learned to live completely independently of "What would Bubbles tell me to do?" and "What would Bubbles think?" In fact, I have managed to move on (and most likely cling to) other people. And, I'm sorry, but I'd describe these people as people who actually want to be with me. I actually feel bad for saying that, so I'll say something much more truthful: I need to find myself and God for myself, in my own way. I need to identify things through my own experience. And I love my Bubbles dearly, but she's very .... rule-following. And, if you know me, you know that I am too. That being said, I'd like to be a little more outgoing for when I go to college. (Hopefully Frostburg State U, but at this point I'm not sure I'm getting into college.) And I believe that people like Japan and Cannon are going to help me do that more than Bubbles will. Because while Bubbles says she is always there for me --and let me be clear in this, I have NO DOUBT THAT SHE IS -- I feel it more from my "big sisters." I've never been able to say that Bubbles is like my big sister. But Japan and Cannon.... they feel like it.


Peace, love, and giant boobies.

So I'd like to mention....

At this moment in my life, I am utterly confused. (And, btw, read The Great Divorce by Clive Staples Lewis. It's a kickass book!) I am confused about a lot of things. But those are for pondeirng in class tomorrow instead of doing what I need to be doing.

I'd also like to mention that if I don't talk to you, it's because I've run out of things to say. My life can only be so interesting... and last post was the most exciting thing to happen in a long time.

The end.

Peace, love, and magic busses.