College

Tonight marks exactly one week that I've been in college. I've noticed a few things. I've noticed that I really don't miss home as much as I thought I would, but I do miss my mommy. I've also noticed that it's much easier to get work done when you can control what time you get up in the morning and how much time you have between classes. I've noticed that I am much happier here at this time than I was at school this time last year. Except.... until I remembered last fall. I was a mess last fall. You all know this, because I started my blog last summer. Maybe it's the fact that my two best friends up here are in the process of pairing up (which was completely unexpected for me and one of these friends) and my irrational fear of being alone forever is, well, being confirmed in my mind, right in front of my eyes. Maybe it's the fact that one of these friends dragged me to go see a scary movie (Drag Me to Hell) and I was completely unphased by the entire thing (it wasn't scary. At all.). Or maybe it's the fact that I've felt a panic attack coming on for three days and it hasn't happened yet, and I'm scared for when it does happen, because I won't have control of my location or company. Right now I'm in my room alone, as my roommate is probably out at a party, and everyone else is off doing their thing. (BTW, everyone please pray for Bubbles's grandfather, who is in the hospital.).

I thought college was a good thing. But, see, being alone at home is different from being alone three hours from home. At least home's comfortable. This new place is comfortable... but has that strong sense of isolation with it as well. Oh well. At least the campus is gorgeous.

Peace, love, and crazy Eastern European ladies who curse buttons.