It's late.

So, I can't sleep, so instead I'm blogging. Weird, right? Anyway. The following was originally written to be a response to a post Mrs. Tolstoy (http://unwaveringthunder.blogspot.com/) wrote a while back about writing. In particular, I was stricken by how Mrs. Tolstoy criticized the Twilight series.

I agree that Stephenie Meyer isn't the *best* writer ever. In fact, it's hard for me to not take a red pen to her books. And certainly, whoever edits her stuff should be shot (seriously, she meant "past" but wrote "passed".). But I've come to find that the Twilight books aren't about the writing. It's about the story itself. Maybe I'm not a writer because I've only ever felt remotely connected to maybe two things I've ever written. But, and maybe it's just for me, but the story that is present, the modern-day fairytaleness of the whole thing, is beautiful and achingly romantic and drives me to tears.

What does that have to do with this evening's post? Well, see, nothing. Except that I've had this GREAT idea for a story cooking in my head. And tonight I was reading a book (What I Saw and How I Lied) that made me question my idea for my story. Which is better: historic fiction that requires much outside research, or modern fiction that is the crutch for most modern writers? Either way, I'd be losing. It would never get published, surely, but I'm not aiming for that. I'm aiming for something that people will read and connect with, even if they don't think they will. I'll write a full post on Twilight or writing or whatever if anyone wants. But that's not the point. The point is that... well, I lost my train of thought and don't know what the point was. I'm tired. I just want to sleep. Stupid writerness keeping me up when I have a 9 a.m. class tomorrow. Whatever.

Peace, love, and ginger cat cookies.

College

Tonight marks exactly one week that I've been in college. I've noticed a few things. I've noticed that I really don't miss home as much as I thought I would, but I do miss my mommy. I've also noticed that it's much easier to get work done when you can control what time you get up in the morning and how much time you have between classes. I've noticed that I am much happier here at this time than I was at school this time last year. Except.... until I remembered last fall. I was a mess last fall. You all know this, because I started my blog last summer. Maybe it's the fact that my two best friends up here are in the process of pairing up (which was completely unexpected for me and one of these friends) and my irrational fear of being alone forever is, well, being confirmed in my mind, right in front of my eyes. Maybe it's the fact that one of these friends dragged me to go see a scary movie (Drag Me to Hell) and I was completely unphased by the entire thing (it wasn't scary. At all.). Or maybe it's the fact that I've felt a panic attack coming on for three days and it hasn't happened yet, and I'm scared for when it does happen, because I won't have control of my location or company. Right now I'm in my room alone, as my roommate is probably out at a party, and everyone else is off doing their thing. (BTW, everyone please pray for Bubbles's grandfather, who is in the hospital.).

I thought college was a good thing. But, see, being alone at home is different from being alone three hours from home. At least home's comfortable. This new place is comfortable... but has that strong sense of isolation with it as well. Oh well. At least the campus is gorgeous.

Peace, love, and crazy Eastern European ladies who curse buttons.