Tuba-juba-duba.

I tried to throw a fish at Bubbles today.


Yes, you read that right. Okay, fine, it wasn't a real fish. I mean, that wouldn't have worked anyway. We were talking on AIM, and I reminded her to write a blog entry since it has been one bajillion years and 31 minutes since she has done so. And we have had this fish joke forever. So I tried to IM her an emoticon fish.

Let me tell you about my expertise in emoticons. I can do the traditional :-) and :-( and <3.><. Fish. Except it did not turn out like that when I hit "send." It sent as <-)))><. That, ladies and gentlemen, is NOT a fishy. That is the jumble that comes out when you bang your head on the keyboard in frustration. So I spaced it out. I sent Bubbles a very LONG fish. It looks something like this:

< ) ) ) > <. Fish. Fishy fish fisharoo fishness fishdom. I am trying to make fish sound like it's not a word anymore. Fish fish fish fish fish.

In other news. I have been accepted to the college of my choice: Frostburg State University. Yay me. My letter came on December 26. I consider it my late Christmas present from the postal service.

In other-other news, I smell like fire. Or like smoke from a fire. I'd say I smell like smoke but for some reason my friends would associate that with cigarettes. I swear I don't do that! .... Why fire, you ask? Because I was at my friend Duck's house with my other friends Dave, the Spaniard, and the Spaniard's girlfriend Tinkerbell. And we started a fire (in a firepit! Don't worry, we didn't burn anything down). And I was sitting right next to it. It was really warm.

In otherness news, my boy from a zillion posts ago, the one who went to Homecoming with another girl? Is apparently dating someone now. And I am surprised at how little I actually care about that. I mean, it hurt that Tinkerbell felt the need to tell me that The Boy had written in his FB status that he loves some unnamed girl, but still. I don't care. There is a lot of not-caring going on with Catnip.


Okay, well, that's all. This post made no sense anyway.


Peace, love, and rainbow trout.

Econo-sized

So, the other day my mom was reading a newsletter from the.... what's it called, organization?.... that manages all the people who work in her field (the Cardiac Catheterization lab, that's where my mom works). And the branch for the lovely state of Henrietta-Marialand (yes, that's the REAL nomenclature for the state) has put out a statement that could put my mom's job in danger. See, there's this other license a person can hold that, in most states, is equivalent to the license my mom has (it's kinda like the relationship between a GED and a HS Diploma. But anyway.). In the state of Maryland, though, that first license is not recognized and therefore is meaningless. In other words, a person working in a hospital in the state of Maryland who has this license is, technically, not licensed and therefore doing something highly illegal. My mom does NOT have this license, she has one that is recognized pretty much everywhere. But one of her co-workers has the unrecognized license (which, btw, is recognized in the District and Virginia.). And the organization that oversees people in this field have said that any physician or tech [which is what my mom does] who is working in the Cath Lab with the "unlicensed" person can face fines and possibly lose their own license. My mother's hospital, which is supposedly the worst one to work for in this area, possibly the state, has said that they WILL NOT FIRE THIS WOMAN because one of the doctors likes having her around. They have said that they will pay any fines (which, once they are caught, is $10,000 per day until this woman is fired.). But they have no control over innocent doctors, nurses, and techs losing their licenses, and therefore are not held responsible for those. If my mother loses her license, she cannot get a job elsewhere. So currently, she is trying to find a job at another hospital. The problem there is that she picked this hospital in the first place because, while it sucks to work there, it pays REALLY well. Like, really, we are very fortunate. We haven't really felt the recession. There's a hospital that is closer to our house (it's in Annapolis) that has a job opening, but we don't know how much they're willing to pay her. We know that they will be willing to hire her, as they were willing to the last time she applied there. But money's an issue. I'm going off to college, most likely one where I will have to live on-campus (although I told my mom that I will, and I do mean will, go to community college if that's what we need me to do.) Currently, my sister and I are both enrolled in private school. I mean, I know that makes us seem like "spoiled rich kids" but we really aren't. We were still in private school when my mom was in X-ray school and we had utilities shut off EVERY WEEK and even had the car repossessed once (got it back, though.). My mom puts education first. I'm just afraid that utilities will be shut off again and it'll be like middle school (which sucked in that regard.). And now we might have to go back to that because MY MOTHER'S HOSPITAL IS RUN BY MORONS!!! Seriously, BOYCOTT SOUTHERN MARYLAND HOSPITAL CENTER!!!


I was reading my friend Highway's (also known as J) blog, and his mom is having issues finding work. Now, I understand, his situation sucks big time. His mom's trying to find an alternate situation so she can do her best for them. So Highway J may have to go live with his father. And, lemme tell ya, the fact that Highway J is willing to leave his mom? Is huge. And very strong of him. But I don't wanna sound like I'm making his problem smaller when I say that hey, at least he HAS a dad to go live with. My dad? Lives in a garage apartment and is technically a fugitive. If my mom loses her job, we don't have anywhere to go. I mean, I am NOT about to switch schools in the middle of my senior year, especially when I love my school a lot. Don't get me wrong, J would probably have to switch schools for HIS senior year... but it's not the middle of the year, see? And I really do feel for J's situation. His situation is because of that stupid recession. (Ours isn't, and I'm so thankful for that. I mean, in the holiday season, I have tipped extra and donated more because I knew others needed that money, and I do have extra and I am sooo appreciative of that.). But y'know, his situation, in a way, is better than mine (but also worse.).

Ah, well. Maybe Saint Obama will provide a Christmas miracle, huh?


Peace, love, and HOSPITAL BOYCOTTS!

College

So I only just remembered something about my old plans for college.


Originally I'd planned to major in Creative Writing and be a novelist/English teacher. Originally I'd planned to stay very close to home. The plan was that I would get an apartment with Bubbles and we'd both go to the same school.

But now that's changed. I'm sure you remember an earlier post where I mentioned that Bubbles is going to move to California and be a big famous actress one day. Well, that kinda puts a damper on our plans. Because she wants to move for next school year. And I will never see her again.

What I'm learning, though, is that it scares me less and less that she will be gone. I've learned to live completely independently of "What would Bubbles tell me to do?" and "What would Bubbles think?" In fact, I have managed to move on (and most likely cling to) other people. And, I'm sorry, but I'd describe these people as people who actually want to be with me. I actually feel bad for saying that, so I'll say something much more truthful: I need to find myself and God for myself, in my own way. I need to identify things through my own experience. And I love my Bubbles dearly, but she's very .... rule-following. And, if you know me, you know that I am too. That being said, I'd like to be a little more outgoing for when I go to college. (Hopefully Frostburg State U, but at this point I'm not sure I'm getting into college.) And I believe that people like Japan and Cannon are going to help me do that more than Bubbles will. Because while Bubbles says she is always there for me --and let me be clear in this, I have NO DOUBT THAT SHE IS -- I feel it more from my "big sisters." I've never been able to say that Bubbles is like my big sister. But Japan and Cannon.... they feel like it.


Peace, love, and giant boobies.

So I'd like to mention....

At this moment in my life, I am utterly confused. (And, btw, read The Great Divorce by Clive Staples Lewis. It's a kickass book!) I am confused about a lot of things. But those are for pondeirng in class tomorrow instead of doing what I need to be doing.

I'd also like to mention that if I don't talk to you, it's because I've run out of things to say. My life can only be so interesting... and last post was the most exciting thing to happen in a long time.

The end.

Peace, love, and magic busses.

Wet 'n' Wild

No, it's not just for cosmetics anymore. It describes my life on Saturday night. *Not like that, ya perv!* But before we move into that story, we have to hear this story.

So yesterday, I firmly decided that I would attend a party at Japan's house (y'all remember Japan, don't you?). And I went to this party with Teapot. But that's for later. Anyhow, Teapot was at the Borders in Annapolis wrapping gifts as a fundraiser for our local teen theatre group. At four o'clock, when his wrapping ended, I went to go pick him up. But, naturally, the party was not for another three hours or so. So we went around the mall and hung out. It was nice. But even with the random malling, we still had an HOUR to get to the party. So what did Catnip do? She drove Teapot around and gave him a tour.

Then Catnip and Teapot went to the party at Japan's house. Yay us. We were two minutes early, but that didn't really matter because people were already there. Cannon was there! (Do you remember her too?) and her sexy boy-toy Nut Boy was there. So we just stood around talking. Then Japan decided that it was hot tub time. So we all went outside (keep in mind, I live in the mid-Atlantic region, and it is almost December) and got into the hot tub. And, of course, the age rang was 17 (me) to 21 (Cannon) and there were all these people I didn't know there. So, naturally, we played stupid teenager games like Never Have I Ever and Truth or Dare. [At this point, it may be pertinent to the conversation that I am the Ultra Virgin and have never been to a 'wild' party, kissed a guy, or played stupid teenager games.] We started with Never Have I Ever. My first thing I had never done... "Never have I ever played Never Have I Ever." Very nice, right? And then my second one was "Never have I ever kissed a guy." And, for those of you not familiar with the game, each time you HAVE done something that the person says they have NOT done, you put a finger down (usually you start with 10, speed-games go with 5). When you have all of your fingers down, you lose and must go do whatever has been arranged for the loser to do. This is important! Because the random guy sitting next to me lost first. And the penalty was for people to take off an article of clothing when they lose. Keep in mind, we are in a HOT TUB and wearing BATHING SUITS. So he had to take off his swimming trunks. Lucky for me, though, he put them over his manly area.

So. Continuing on. We got bored with NHIE and decided to play Truth or Dare. Again, this is my first time playing this game for real. So there are the opening tentative dares (I was the only one to pick truth, which is okay because I was only picked once.) And then people got into the game... and I mean REALLY got into it. Japan and Cannon, who are like my older sisters, got permission from me to dare the (naked!) guy sitting next to me to kiss me (my first kiss ever!). So they dared him. And he, having heard me say during NHIE that I had not kissed anyone before, got clarification from them to make sure that he wasn't going to scar me for life. And it was very nice, actually. He didn't use tongue, which was very considerate. Unfortunately, I just kinda sat there because I didn't know what to do. And he was just very nice about it and he had very nice lips. Yeah, I know that sounds strange, but it's true. Anyway. So the game continued on (including Teapot, who is gay, being on the receiving end of someone's daring Japan to kiss him) and Nut Boy (named for his job, not for any appendages that he may have) was dared to give me a lap dance. And let me tell you, this boy is BUILT, and built WELL. He is gorgeous. But it was awkward to have a sexy guy all up on me... again, I just kinda sat there. But that was nice.

Unfortunately, the night ended soon after because it was getting late, and I have a "Cinderella License" ... which essentially means that after midnight, my license is no good. So then I drove Teapot home, and then I drove home. And it was very lovely.

All right. It's late. I'm going to bed.

Peace, love, and nailpolish.

Say What You Need To Say

Maybe you haven't noticed, but I say nothing useful in this blog. There's no message, there's no theme. There's just words on a screen. Words that no one even reads. My poetry's the same way. There's no purpose. It's just ink on paper. I wish I had a message, a purpose, a meaning, a mission. Something that I could stand on a mountain and shout to the valley below and feel good about. Something that people will remember long after I've gone. I'm sick of being unintelligent and apathetic, but it's not something that you can willingly change. It's the inspiration, the conversion, the out-of-nowhere thought train that hits you at a thousand miles an hour. And I've never had one, and fear that I never will as long as I am waiting for one. In fact, I know that I will not for as long as I am waiting for one.
I hope John Mayer writes his own song lyrics, because I'd like to admire him for that. I'd like to quote him as telling the world "Say what you need to say." That is the summary of tonight's blog. I don't know what I need to say, though, so I cannot follow his instructions. I feel like somewhere there is something stuck inside me that one day, I will scream to the world. I've imagined it. I will be driving home, and it will hit me, and I will pull over on the side of the road and scream it, with my arms raised to the sky. Of course, I'm just a romantic. The real scenario will involve me whispering it as I sit in traffic, if it happens at all. It will be a day that I completely stop caring about everything, more than I have now. Apathy beyond the norm for a teenager. But I know this.
One day, I will forget that I am apathetic, and that is the day that I will find my message.
The day I will find my purpose.
The day I will find my meaning.
The day I will find my mission.

The day I will have something to say.

Away

I am going to go for a drive on Friday. I may not come back. Slash, I probably will. But I'm just thinking that I don't want to and, therefore, may not. The end.