I couldn't sleep last night, which is why I graced you all with that lovely rendition of the story of my relationship. It's been a weird 24 hours.
I have a slight cut on my ankle from a shaving accident a couple weeks ago. Once I *finally* got to sleep last night, I slept for an hour before discovering that said cut had started to bleed. So after I applied a random T-shirt to said gushing wound, I fell back into a slightly unrestful sleep. I'm not gonna lie, I thought the uncontrollable sobbing would have tired me out enough to sleep. But then the thunderstorm came, and I found myself awake, and crying.
I made it through today without crying, or even getting choked up. I'm very proud of myself. I mean, it's not like I just went through a frickin' divorce or anything... but it still hurts. I didn't think it would happen so soon, or like this.... and I suppose I'm just expected to pretend I'm all right and talk to him like nothing's wrong. Or maybe he hurts as much as I do, but since he's a male he won't actually admit it. He still hasn't really acknowledged that the relationship is over, even though technically, although it was mutual, *he* broke it off.
All right. Well. At this point I'm just bein' an emo kid. So I'm just gonna leave it here.
Peace, love, and cake in a microwave.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Sleepless
So, it's been over a month since I last posted. My apologies.
What's happened in that time?
I got my laptop back. And Tubaman and I broke up. And right now, I can't sleep, so instead I will tell the story of Tubaman and Bassoonage.
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Catnip, who went by Bassoonage when she was at school. Anyway, Bassoonage was given the honor of being in the pit orchestra for the school musical. This is when she met Tubaman, the tuba player from her concert ensemble who would later become the tuba player for the musical. Eventually, during tech week for the show, Tubaman and Bassoonage started "talking" in the sense that the beginnings of some kind of relationship were there, but Bassoonage didn't know what was going on because she was a silly, naive girl, as she has been for most of her life.
There was a complication at this early part of our story. You see, Tubaman was believed to be dating, or at least "talking," with one of the trombone players, who was soon kicked out of school for truancy. And so Bassoonage just wrote off any advances Tubaman made towards her as typically strange male behavior. Which was probably how this should have been interpreted, because all males are strange. However. Our story does continue henceforth.
Both Tubaman and Bassoonage live their lives accordingly. In the middle of December, "talking" commences between the two again, because they have both been forced to spend much time at school for the Christmas Fine Arts Festival. During this time, Tubaman asks for and receives Bassoonage's cell phone number. But nothing happens. Meanwhile, Bassoonage does not get her hopes up at all because any relationship between the two would never, ever work out for more than a week... or so she feared.
You see, there were many distinct differences between Bassoonage and Tubaman. Bassoonage was a painfully shy, awkward Senior who was going through her rebellious phase and trying to find herself while dealing with being the odd, creatively challenged, nerdy, slightly overweight and aesthetically-challenged, naive young thing she was. Bassoonage was as white as the cinderblock walls of the school, and as athletic as a one-year-old with a stomach ache. Tubaman, on the other hand, was a well-adjusted, outgoing Sophomore to whom social interaction came easily. Tubaman was experienced in the world, a popular young man who was a talented soccer player and lacrosse player hailing from Jamaica, and essentially the paragon of perfection to many, many young ladies in the school.
It came to pass that Tubaman and Bassoonage had a common half-hour of free time together on certain schedule days, and the two came to know each other better. Bassoonage, in her final year of high school, found that the Prom, the highlight of her entire high school career, was drawing nearer, yet she had no date. Thus she decided to ask her good friend Tubaman, whom she was increasingly becoming fond of. And thus it came to pass that the two would go to the prom together.
As the annual band trip also came upon our two young musicians, it was unknowingly agreed upon that Tubaman and Bassoonage would spend their time exclusively together on the trip. Somehow, the untrue word that the two were dating spread around the music ensembles, and by the end of the trip, the relationship was almost official. Almost.
The two continued to spend time together, and after a full day of enjoying each others' company during the semi-annual Honor Band festivities, Tubaman bestowed a kiss unto Bassoonage in the evening. All was blissful in both worlds, and both young people were very happy. Through more discussion the following day, a relationship between Tubaman and Bassoonage became official.
Enthralled with the new bond, there was nary a quarrel between the two. The Prom came around, and it was indeed a perfect evening for Tubaman and Bassoonage. The 18th Birthday of Bassoonage came around, and Tubaman was sure to show her a lovely time. Graduation came around, and as Bassoonage left behind her high school life, Tubaman was sure to prove how proud he was of his beloved Bassoonage.
Eventually, though, Tubaman and Bassoonage began to quarrel. Bassoonage knew that the relationship would soon end because she would be leaving soon for college, and Tubaman would be left behind to finish high school. Then, one night, some of Tubaman's friends took hold of his cell phone and replied to Bassoonage's text messages in a very unpleasant manner, calling her terrible names and telling her that Tubaman disliked her. Bassoonage felt very bad through this whole ordeal; she had been less than a proper lady when she had been with Tubaman during the day and had meant to apologize, but was instead met with this torture. Bassoonage admitted to the friends that she was indeed unfit to be in a relationship with Tubaman, and asked that the message please be passed on that Tubaman should call Bassoonage at his earliest convenience. The conversation was brief, because Tubaman had other affairs to attend to. Bassoonage, however, felt that the situation had properly been remedied, and returned to her daily routines.
Meanwhile, all Bassoonage truly wanted was to be held by her Tubaman, to hug him and kiss him and cuddle with him, because for some reason she really felt the need for such activities to occur. Bassoonage thought of nothing else during this time.
A few days after the quarrel with Tubaman's friends, however, Bassoonage mentioned something about their relationship to Tubaman, who replied that he thought that the relationship had ended on Bassoonage's word. Bassoonage was confused, but after further discussion it was decided that Bassoonage and Tubaman would no longer be together. Bassoonage did her best to remain strong, but it hurt her badly. She had not expected the relationship to end in such a manner, and she would never get one last chance to be with Tubaman before the relationship ended. Tubaman assured her that she would find someone else who should treat her better, but this was hard for Bassoonage to imagine, for Tubaman had treated her so well. Bassoonage replied by assuring Tubaman that he would always be able to find someone more worthy than she had been, but Tubaman would not hear of such a thing. The two decided to remain friendly, but in truth Bassoonage knew it would be a long time before any contact with Tubaman would not result in her lamenting tears.
The End.
R.I.P my relationship: April 5, 2009, until July 27, 2009. Begun and ended in a text message.
More to come when I've gotten this out of my system. There's your story.
Peace, love, and sleepless nights.
What's happened in that time?
I got my laptop back. And Tubaman and I broke up. And right now, I can't sleep, so instead I will tell the story of Tubaman and Bassoonage.
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Catnip, who went by Bassoonage when she was at school. Anyway, Bassoonage was given the honor of being in the pit orchestra for the school musical. This is when she met Tubaman, the tuba player from her concert ensemble who would later become the tuba player for the musical. Eventually, during tech week for the show, Tubaman and Bassoonage started "talking" in the sense that the beginnings of some kind of relationship were there, but Bassoonage didn't know what was going on because she was a silly, naive girl, as she has been for most of her life.
There was a complication at this early part of our story. You see, Tubaman was believed to be dating, or at least "talking," with one of the trombone players, who was soon kicked out of school for truancy. And so Bassoonage just wrote off any advances Tubaman made towards her as typically strange male behavior. Which was probably how this should have been interpreted, because all males are strange. However. Our story does continue henceforth.
Both Tubaman and Bassoonage live their lives accordingly. In the middle of December, "talking" commences between the two again, because they have both been forced to spend much time at school for the Christmas Fine Arts Festival. During this time, Tubaman asks for and receives Bassoonage's cell phone number. But nothing happens. Meanwhile, Bassoonage does not get her hopes up at all because any relationship between the two would never, ever work out for more than a week... or so she feared.
You see, there were many distinct differences between Bassoonage and Tubaman. Bassoonage was a painfully shy, awkward Senior who was going through her rebellious phase and trying to find herself while dealing with being the odd, creatively challenged, nerdy, slightly overweight and aesthetically-challenged, naive young thing she was. Bassoonage was as white as the cinderblock walls of the school, and as athletic as a one-year-old with a stomach ache. Tubaman, on the other hand, was a well-adjusted, outgoing Sophomore to whom social interaction came easily. Tubaman was experienced in the world, a popular young man who was a talented soccer player and lacrosse player hailing from Jamaica, and essentially the paragon of perfection to many, many young ladies in the school.
It came to pass that Tubaman and Bassoonage had a common half-hour of free time together on certain schedule days, and the two came to know each other better. Bassoonage, in her final year of high school, found that the Prom, the highlight of her entire high school career, was drawing nearer, yet she had no date. Thus she decided to ask her good friend Tubaman, whom she was increasingly becoming fond of. And thus it came to pass that the two would go to the prom together.
As the annual band trip also came upon our two young musicians, it was unknowingly agreed upon that Tubaman and Bassoonage would spend their time exclusively together on the trip. Somehow, the untrue word that the two were dating spread around the music ensembles, and by the end of the trip, the relationship was almost official. Almost.
The two continued to spend time together, and after a full day of enjoying each others' company during the semi-annual Honor Band festivities, Tubaman bestowed a kiss unto Bassoonage in the evening. All was blissful in both worlds, and both young people were very happy. Through more discussion the following day, a relationship between Tubaman and Bassoonage became official.
Enthralled with the new bond, there was nary a quarrel between the two. The Prom came around, and it was indeed a perfect evening for Tubaman and Bassoonage. The 18th Birthday of Bassoonage came around, and Tubaman was sure to show her a lovely time. Graduation came around, and as Bassoonage left behind her high school life, Tubaman was sure to prove how proud he was of his beloved Bassoonage.
Eventually, though, Tubaman and Bassoonage began to quarrel. Bassoonage knew that the relationship would soon end because she would be leaving soon for college, and Tubaman would be left behind to finish high school. Then, one night, some of Tubaman's friends took hold of his cell phone and replied to Bassoonage's text messages in a very unpleasant manner, calling her terrible names and telling her that Tubaman disliked her. Bassoonage felt very bad through this whole ordeal; she had been less than a proper lady when she had been with Tubaman during the day and had meant to apologize, but was instead met with this torture. Bassoonage admitted to the friends that she was indeed unfit to be in a relationship with Tubaman, and asked that the message please be passed on that Tubaman should call Bassoonage at his earliest convenience. The conversation was brief, because Tubaman had other affairs to attend to. Bassoonage, however, felt that the situation had properly been remedied, and returned to her daily routines.
Meanwhile, all Bassoonage truly wanted was to be held by her Tubaman, to hug him and kiss him and cuddle with him, because for some reason she really felt the need for such activities to occur. Bassoonage thought of nothing else during this time.
A few days after the quarrel with Tubaman's friends, however, Bassoonage mentioned something about their relationship to Tubaman, who replied that he thought that the relationship had ended on Bassoonage's word. Bassoonage was confused, but after further discussion it was decided that Bassoonage and Tubaman would no longer be together. Bassoonage did her best to remain strong, but it hurt her badly. She had not expected the relationship to end in such a manner, and she would never get one last chance to be with Tubaman before the relationship ended. Tubaman assured her that she would find someone else who should treat her better, but this was hard for Bassoonage to imagine, for Tubaman had treated her so well. Bassoonage replied by assuring Tubaman that he would always be able to find someone more worthy than she had been, but Tubaman would not hear of such a thing. The two decided to remain friendly, but in truth Bassoonage knew it would be a long time before any contact with Tubaman would not result in her lamenting tears.
The End.
R.I.P my relationship: April 5, 2009, until July 27, 2009. Begun and ended in a text message.
More to come when I've gotten this out of my system. There's your story.
Peace, love, and sleepless nights.
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