Wet 'n' Wild

No, it's not just for cosmetics anymore. It describes my life on Saturday night. *Not like that, ya perv!* But before we move into that story, we have to hear this story.

So yesterday, I firmly decided that I would attend a party at Japan's house (y'all remember Japan, don't you?). And I went to this party with Teapot. But that's for later. Anyhow, Teapot was at the Borders in Annapolis wrapping gifts as a fundraiser for our local teen theatre group. At four o'clock, when his wrapping ended, I went to go pick him up. But, naturally, the party was not for another three hours or so. So we went around the mall and hung out. It was nice. But even with the random malling, we still had an HOUR to get to the party. So what did Catnip do? She drove Teapot around and gave him a tour.

Then Catnip and Teapot went to the party at Japan's house. Yay us. We were two minutes early, but that didn't really matter because people were already there. Cannon was there! (Do you remember her too?) and her sexy boy-toy Nut Boy was there. So we just stood around talking. Then Japan decided that it was hot tub time. So we all went outside (keep in mind, I live in the mid-Atlantic region, and it is almost December) and got into the hot tub. And, of course, the age rang was 17 (me) to 21 (Cannon) and there were all these people I didn't know there. So, naturally, we played stupid teenager games like Never Have I Ever and Truth or Dare. [At this point, it may be pertinent to the conversation that I am the Ultra Virgin and have never been to a 'wild' party, kissed a guy, or played stupid teenager games.] We started with Never Have I Ever. My first thing I had never done... "Never have I ever played Never Have I Ever." Very nice, right? And then my second one was "Never have I ever kissed a guy." And, for those of you not familiar with the game, each time you HAVE done something that the person says they have NOT done, you put a finger down (usually you start with 10, speed-games go with 5). When you have all of your fingers down, you lose and must go do whatever has been arranged for the loser to do. This is important! Because the random guy sitting next to me lost first. And the penalty was for people to take off an article of clothing when they lose. Keep in mind, we are in a HOT TUB and wearing BATHING SUITS. So he had to take off his swimming trunks. Lucky for me, though, he put them over his manly area.

So. Continuing on. We got bored with NHIE and decided to play Truth or Dare. Again, this is my first time playing this game for real. So there are the opening tentative dares (I was the only one to pick truth, which is okay because I was only picked once.) And then people got into the game... and I mean REALLY got into it. Japan and Cannon, who are like my older sisters, got permission from me to dare the (naked!) guy sitting next to me to kiss me (my first kiss ever!). So they dared him. And he, having heard me say during NHIE that I had not kissed anyone before, got clarification from them to make sure that he wasn't going to scar me for life. And it was very nice, actually. He didn't use tongue, which was very considerate. Unfortunately, I just kinda sat there because I didn't know what to do. And he was just very nice about it and he had very nice lips. Yeah, I know that sounds strange, but it's true. Anyway. So the game continued on (including Teapot, who is gay, being on the receiving end of someone's daring Japan to kiss him) and Nut Boy (named for his job, not for any appendages that he may have) was dared to give me a lap dance. And let me tell you, this boy is BUILT, and built WELL. He is gorgeous. But it was awkward to have a sexy guy all up on me... again, I just kinda sat there. But that was nice.

Unfortunately, the night ended soon after because it was getting late, and I have a "Cinderella License" ... which essentially means that after midnight, my license is no good. So then I drove Teapot home, and then I drove home. And it was very lovely.

All right. It's late. I'm going to bed.

Peace, love, and nailpolish.

Say What You Need To Say

Maybe you haven't noticed, but I say nothing useful in this blog. There's no message, there's no theme. There's just words on a screen. Words that no one even reads. My poetry's the same way. There's no purpose. It's just ink on paper. I wish I had a message, a purpose, a meaning, a mission. Something that I could stand on a mountain and shout to the valley below and feel good about. Something that people will remember long after I've gone. I'm sick of being unintelligent and apathetic, but it's not something that you can willingly change. It's the inspiration, the conversion, the out-of-nowhere thought train that hits you at a thousand miles an hour. And I've never had one, and fear that I never will as long as I am waiting for one. In fact, I know that I will not for as long as I am waiting for one.
I hope John Mayer writes his own song lyrics, because I'd like to admire him for that. I'd like to quote him as telling the world "Say what you need to say." That is the summary of tonight's blog. I don't know what I need to say, though, so I cannot follow his instructions. I feel like somewhere there is something stuck inside me that one day, I will scream to the world. I've imagined it. I will be driving home, and it will hit me, and I will pull over on the side of the road and scream it, with my arms raised to the sky. Of course, I'm just a romantic. The real scenario will involve me whispering it as I sit in traffic, if it happens at all. It will be a day that I completely stop caring about everything, more than I have now. Apathy beyond the norm for a teenager. But I know this.
One day, I will forget that I am apathetic, and that is the day that I will find my message.
The day I will find my purpose.
The day I will find my meaning.
The day I will find my mission.

The day I will have something to say.

Away

I am going to go for a drive on Friday. I may not come back. Slash, I probably will. But I'm just thinking that I don't want to and, therefore, may not. The end.

Stolen Secrets: My Truth

I'm actually going crazy. Slowly, slowly, crazy, crazy.